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Thread: Joke Thread

  1. #901
    Learning All The Songs Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    I went to the doctors to find out why i cant get rid of my belly. The doctor says "you've got an over active"....and before he finished i butted in and said "What ? Thyroid ?". doctor says "no, knife and fork you fat b@astard !"
    And on the eighth day he created The Saints and he said " Go forth and entertain !"

  2. #902
    Starting A Programme Collection saints123's Avatar
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    My wife just bought a t-shirt that said "I love hip hop"

    I said, "Your t-shirt is missing a few letters"

    "Oh shit, really?" she replied, panicking.

    I said, "yeah, there should be a 'c' in front of hip and an 's' in front of hop, you fat bitch"

  3. #903
    Learning All The Songs
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    Have you heard the one about the SuperLeague club that can't play a home Challenge Cup match at home?

    ......Oh wait, sorry thats not a joke!!!!!!!
    (Sorry Rogues, couldn't resist it?)

  4. #904
    Learning All The Songs Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    I took two stuffed dogs I had onto the Antiques Roadshow.....

    "Ooh," Said the presenter, "This is a very rare breed, do you have any idea what they'd fetch if they were in good condition?".....

    "Sticks?" I replied.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
    And on the eighth day he created The Saints and he said " Go forth and entertain !"

  5. #905
    Learning All The Songs Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    Fat wife walks into the kitchen and says "didn't you hear me fall down the stairs?" Husband says "sorry love I thought it was the start of eastenders"
    And on the eighth day he created The Saints and he said " Go forth and entertain !"

  6. #906
    Got A Replica Shirt
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    Just hearing reports of an accident on the A1 near Newcastle involving a van carrying tortoises and a lorry load of terrapin. Police have said it was a turtle disaster

  7. #907
    Got A Replica Shirt
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    I went to a party recently, had a few drinks, later on we started dancing.

    The twist came on, so we did the twist.

    The Macerena came on, so we did the Macarena

    Come on Eileen came on, I was escorted from the premises....

  8. #908
    In The West Stand saintgeorge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barrielager View Post
    I went to a party recently, had a few drinks, later on we started dancing.

    The twist came on, so we did the twist.

    The Macerena came on, so we did the Macarena

    Come on Eileen came on, I was escorted from the premises....

  9. #909
    Learning All The Songs Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    The French have claimed that they printed topless pics of Kate Middleton because we sent them Joey Barton. It was just a case of tit for ………… !
    And on the eighth day he created The Saints and he said " Go forth and entertain !"

  10. #910
    Starting A Programme Collection saints123's Avatar
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    Just a couple of ones i got recently, thought I'd put them on as nobody posted on here for a month or so.

    Breaking news

    Police searching Jimmy Savile's former home have found class A drugs in the kitchen, class B drugs in the living room and class 5C in his bedroom.......


    '' You spend far too much time on that …………ing computer '', possibly a bit harsh, but as one of Stephen Hawkings closest friends, I felt someone had to tell him.

  11. #911
    Got A Season Ticket Wizards Sleeve's Avatar
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    I was telling that old joke in the pub the other night. You know the one? "What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?" - "Throw Your Washing In"
    Well everyone was laughing apart from this one bloke, he said "Hey you, I don't find that very funny, my brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath"
    "Sorry mate" I said, "Did he have a fit"? "No, he choked on a sock"
    Born in St.Helens (Lancashire). Live in Hull. Probably die in Hull if I keep wearing this Red Vee.

  12. #912
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    Sheperd to the angel, "whats it like in Heaven" Angel reply "its alright if you like playing harps".

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