JB&B Leach Banner
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 29

Thread: Youth refs verbally abused by parents

  1. #1
    Learning All The Songs bewareshadows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Leeds
    Posts
    1,731
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Youth refs verbally abused by parents

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-58762169

    Just read this story on the BBC. Got to say the rfl need to come down hard on these parents and coaches.

    If you are a coach and you swear at a under 18 you should be sacked. They should know better. I would potentially go as far as suggesting the police should be involved.

    I know if a grown man or woman walked down our street and started verbally abusing kids that would not go unpunished.

    The rfl need to get a grip or we will never grow this game if the kids can't play it for enjoyment.

  2. #2
    Learning All The Songs Nickles Forearm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    St Helens
    Posts
    2,201
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bewareshadows View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-58762169

    Just read this story on the BBC. Got to say the rfl need to come down hard on these parents and coaches.

    If you are a coach and you swear at a under 18 you should be sacked. They should know better. I would potentially go as far as suggesting the police should be involved.

    I know if a grown man or woman walked down our street and started verbally abusing kids that would not go unpunished.

    The rfl need to get a grip or we will never grow this game if the kids can't play it for enjoyment.
    Unfortunately you only need be watching a game at the Totally Wicked stadium and undoubtedly most if not all rugby stadiums and listen to the verbal abuse the referee receives from the sides. Learned behaviour passed on from parent to child who is now parent again. Without the referee there is no game was what I was brought up with, some need to learn that.

  3. #3
    WARNING! PIE EATER!

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,668
    Rep Power
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bewareshadows View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-58762169

    Just read this story on the BBC. Got to say the rfl need to come down hard on these parents and coaches.

    If you are a coach and you swear at a under 18 you should be sacked. They should know better. I would potentially go as far as suggesting the police should be involved.

    I know if a grown man or woman walked down our street and started verbally abusing kids that would not go unpunished.

    The rfl need to get a grip or we will never grow this game if the kids can't play it for enjoyment.
    Spot on

  4. #4
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    95
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bewareshadows View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-58762169

    Just read this story on the BBC. Got to say the rfl need to come down hard on these parents and coaches.

    If you are a coach and you swear at a under 18 you should be sacked. They should know better. I would potentially go as far as suggesting the police should be involved.

    I know if a grown man or woman walked down our street and started verbally abusing kids that would not go unpunished.

    The rfl need to get a grip or we will never grow this game if the kids can't play it for enjoyment.
    In fairness on this one its not The RFL. The junior district leagues are ran by separate organisations, that are on the whole completely useless and stuck in the 1970s, bar the odd few.

    It's hard to throw any real criticism at them because they're all volunteers and the opportunities wouldn't exist without them, but the entire structure just isn't fit for purpose. Inevitably club allegiances and bias comes into play, as it looks to have here, which just discredits the entire process.

  5. #5
    In The West Stand The Wee Waa Womble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Harrogate
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,421
    Rep Power
    24

    Default

    There is no game without referees. A game in the league above mine at amateur level Union was a abandoned last week due to the abuse the ref was getting. If you get to a stage where referees do not feel safe then the clubs responsible should be very heavily punished. I donít know how it works in league but at amateur level in Union all refs are volunteers who at most get £25 expenses for giving up their Saturdays. Yes there are some who are trying to climb the ladder to ref a higher standard but the majority do it for the love of the game and if we put them off itís not like thereís a tonne queuing up to replace them. Abusing referees under 18 is even worse and punishments should rain down on those responsible.
    Forwards win games. The backs decide by how much.

  6. #6
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    95
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wee Waa Womble View Post
    There is no game without referees. A game in the league above mine at amateur level Union was a abandoned last week due to the abuse the ref was getting. If you get to a stage where referees do not feel safe then the clubs responsible should be very heavily punished. I don’t know how it works in league but at amateur level in Union all refs are volunteers who at most get £25 expenses for giving up their Saturdays. Yes there are some who are trying to climb the ladder to ref a higher standard but the majority do it for the love of the game and if we put them off it’s not like there’s a tonne queuing up to replace them. Abusing referees under 18 is even worse and punishments should rain down on those responsible.
    It's exactly the same in League in terms of the referees being volunteers. Having played across both codes, I'd say the culture in Union is ahead of League when it comes to issues like this.

  7. #7
    Noooobie
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    45
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Many years ago I refereed schoolboy RL games and I remember distinctly being abused by parents and teachers. On one occasion I stopped the game and went to the spectators and told them if they didn't stop the abuse of me and the players I would abandon the match. Fortunately, matters calmed and the game was completed. I am not saying this idea would work every time and probably in a lot of cases the abuse would ramp up but it is true referees are targets for abuse and criticism during game time and it is true it is learned behaviour. Young children learn from adults who let's face it should know better. However, swearing, obscenities, threats and a lack of respect all seem to be part of our culture these days, and sadly you witness them all at spectator sports. Rugby League is not on its own with this phenomenon.
    Bringing it all back home.

  8. #8
    In The West Stand The Wee Waa Womble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Harrogate
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,421
    Rep Power
    24

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BackrowSaint View Post
    It's exactly the same in League in terms of the referees being volunteers. Having played across both codes, I'd say the culture in Union is ahead of League when it comes to issues like this.
    I would agree having seen some amateur league this summer. The club involved in the incident I mentioned previously have been suspended from rugby until the outcome of a disciplinary hearing is concluded.
    Forwards win games. The backs decide by how much.

  9. #9
    Learning All The Songs
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,909
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    The abuse of referees and the disciplinary this year, even from our fans, has been a disgrace. It’s a problem at all levels and certainly not at youth level.
    St Helens Rugby League Football Club

  10. #10
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bewareshadows View Post
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-58762169

    Just read this story on the BBC. Got to say the rfl need to come down hard on these parents and coaches.

    If you are a coach and you swear at a under 18 you should be sacked. They should know better. I would potentially go as far as suggesting the police should be involved.

    I know if a grown man or woman walked down our street and started verbally abusing kids that would not go unpunished.

    The rfl need to get a grip or we will never grow this game if the kids can't play it for enjoyment.
    And the police would say . F off we are far to busy to deal with this trivial crap

  11. #11
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Ok - how about I referee a kids game . I’m in my 40’s , I make some shocking decisions and as a result the best team loses . The parents are livid and give me grief for making very poor decisions . The parents are correct to complain . They complain that ‘Their ‘ children have been unfairly treated ! should they accept this or make there feeling known ? Discuss

  12. #12
    In The West Stand The Wee Waa Womble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Harrogate
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,421
    Rep Power
    24

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    Ok - how about I referee a kids game . Iím in my 40ís , I make some shocking decisions and as a result the best team loses . The parents are livid and give me grief for making very poor decisions . The parents are correct to complain . They complain that ĎTheir Ď children have been unfairly treated ! should they accept this or make there feeling known ? Discuss
    Respect the ref as without them we donít have a game. There are official channels to go down if you want to complain about the refs. We got absolutely shafted by the ref today in our game and it almost cost us the game. There were many occasions where we wanted to shout and scream at the ref but none of us did as we are taught from the moment we step on the rugby field to respect the ref and abusing the ref isnít going to change a decision. A ref might be incompetent but heís not doing it on purpose. In regard to your point, parents should be setting a good example for their children and, at the end of the day, itís their childís loss, not theirs.
    Forwards win games. The backs decide by how much.

  13. #13
    In The North Stand With All The Old Folk Belgian Saint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    8,586
    Rep Power
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    Ok - how about I referee a kids game . I’m in my 40’s , I make some shocking decisions and as a result the best team loses . The parents are livid and give me grief for making very poor decisions . The parents are correct to complain . They complain that ‘Their ‘ children have been unfairly treated ! should they accept this or make there feeling known ? Discuss
    Looking for an argument?

  14. #14
    In The South Stand Dux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    4,827
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    Ok - how about I referee a kids game . Iím in my 40ís , I make some shocking decisions and as a result the best team loses . The parents are livid and give me grief for making very poor decisions . The parents are correct to complain . They complain that ĎTheir Ď children have been unfairly treated ! should they accept this or make there feeling known ? Discuss
    They should grow up and understand that itís a game of which mistakes are a part.

  15. #15
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dux View Post
    They should grow up and understand that itís a game of which mistakes are a part.
    And should that happen at super league games as well?

  16. #16
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    .

  17. #17
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Belgian Saint View Post
    Looking for an argument?
    I have no interest in arguments .

  18. #18
    In The South Stand Dux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    4,827
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    And should that happen at super league games as well?
    Yes, ideally. Inevitably passions get high and people voice their frustrations at the ref sometimes, and thatís not something Iíd want to change. But I would say thereís a big difference between that and the sustained abuse that quite a few people think itís normal to aim at the referee throughout a game.

    At local/junior level I think itís just an extra level of stupidity, though. If a parent abuses someone who is volunteering their time so that that parentís child can play Rugby League then Iíd say they need to have a look at themselves.

  19. #19
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    No child player or referee should Be swore at ,at any time irrespective of being on the rugby field or not in my view . However, fans must be allowed to express their feeling ( to a degree) and challenge bad decisions in a way that is not abusive . However , what is deemed as abusive may be subjective from person to person
    How many of you have sang ‘ The referee’s a W&£&er ‘ at super league games ? Is that ok because they are adults? I watch and listened to Leeds fans screaming on Friday ‘ you mum is a F’ing prostitute ‘ to CK while his mate all laughed ! Is that acceptable ? It appears so , Stewards were stood right next to him and did nothing . No fans challenged him so that’s accepted right ? That is someone’s son, brother , father? This is a broader issue . Someone mentioned getting the police involved . Imagine how busy they would be dealing with all the rugby , football games every weekend . Every week at my lads games both fans make their feeling known when decisions go against them , is this not part of the game ? Do referees need to understand his when taking up the challenge of referring ? Is it one of those jobs that takes a certain personality to be able to do it? I have only known of two occasions where the line was crossed while watching my lads. on one occasion the person was linked to our club and what was said to the ref was simply disgusting and was banned from watching any future games . We reported to the RFL and the second was a referee swearing at the Our kids ! We again requested he never refs us again which was granted . We do not know if that ref is still reffing or not. Sport particular rugby league is a very passionate sport , players and fans get involved you could say that it’s a participating sport from even a fans perspective , we have to allow a level of expression even if that is directed negatively towards the officials . However that should be free from a level which is deemed inappropriate not just because of age but because abuse is simply wrong at all ages at all levels .

  20. #20
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    In the kitchen, trying to remember why I came here.
    Posts
    76
    Rep Power
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    No child player or referee should Be swore at ,at any time irrespective of being on the rugby field or not in my view . However, fans must be allowed to express their feeling ( to a degree) and challenge bad decisions in a way that is not abusive . However , what is deemed as abusive may be subjective from person to person
    How many of you have sang ‘ The referee’s a W&£&er ‘ at super league games ? Is that ok because they are adults? I watch and listened to Leeds fans screaming on Friday ‘ you mum is a F’ing prostitute ‘ to CK while his mate all laughed ! Is that acceptable ? It appears so , Stewards were stood right next to him and did nothing . No fans challenged him so that’s accepted right ? That is someone’s son, brother , father? This is a broader issue . Someone mentioned getting the police involved . Imagine how busy they would be dealing with all the rugby , football games every weekend . Every week at my lads games both fans make their feeling known when decisions go against them , is this not part of the game ? Do referees need to understand his when taking up the challenge of referring ? Is it one of those jobs that takes a certain personality to be able to do it? I have only known of two occasions where the line was crossed while watching my lads. on one occasion the person was linked to our club and what was said to the ref was simply disgusting and was banned from watching any future games . We reported to the RFL and the second was a referee swearing at the Our kids ! We again requested he never refs us again which was granted . We do not know if that ref is still reffing or not. Sport particular rugby league is a very passionate sport , players and fans get involved you could say that it’s a participating sport from even a fans perspective , we have to allow a level of expression even if that is directed negatively towards the officials . However that should be free from a level which is deemed inappropriate not just because of age but because abuse is simply wrong at all ages at all levels .
    Some valid points in there, but I think there's a considerable difference between a crowd anonymously chanting nonsense at professional refs who have (probably) long since learned how to blot it out, and grown men and women abusing kids often not much older than the ones they are reffing from a few yards away.

  21. #21
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DewiSant View Post
    Some valid points in there, but I think there's a considerable difference between a crowd anonymously chanting nonsense at professional refs who have (probably) long since learned how to blot it out, and grown men and women abusing kids often not much older than the ones they are reffing from a few yards away.
    Now your changing the rules to suit ! Grown men / woman abusing kids or adults at any level is wrong . What is classed as abuse may well be subject to the personís own perspective. Shout to a 14 yr old referee Ď sir that was a knock on ĎĎ Sir thatís 3 high shots you have let go Ď Sir you neees to apply the rules both ways ! Ď come on ref , that was clearly a forward passí a part and I f the game , and young referees need to be exposed to this as when they get older they are gonna be told to F off and called a W&£&er as this is seeming accepted

  22. #22
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    In the kitchen, trying to remember why I came here.
    Posts
    76
    Rep Power
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    Now your changing the rules to suit ! Grown men / woman abusing kids or adults at any level is wrong . What is classed as abuse may well be subject to the person’s own perspective. Shout to a 14 yr old referee ‘ sir that was a knock on ‘‘ Sir that’s 3 high shots you have let go ‘ Sir you neees to apply the rules both ways ! ‘ come on ref , that was clearly a forward pass’ a part and I f the game , and young referees need to be exposed to this as when they get older they are gonna be told to F off and called a W&£&er as this is seeming accepted
    Somehow I don't think those were the kind of comments the original BBC article had in mind.

  23. #23
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    95
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    Now your changing the rules to suit ! Grown men / woman abusing kids or adults at any level is wrong . What is classed as abuse may well be subject to the person’s own perspective. Shout to a 14 yr old referee ‘ sir that was a knock on ‘‘ Sir that’s 3 high shots you have let go ‘ Sir you neees to apply the rules both ways ! ‘ come on ref , that was clearly a forward pass’ a part and I f the game , and young referees need to be exposed to this as when they get older they are gonna be told to F off and called a W&£&er as this is seeming accepted
    You would probably benefit from attending a safeguarding course.

    The brain of a 14 year old is not even remotely as emotionally developed as an adult, the fact you think it's comparable is laughable.

  24. #24
    Got A Season Ticket
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    431
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DewiSant View Post
    Somehow I don't think those were the kind of comments the original BBC article had in mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by DewiSant View Post
    Somehow I don't think those were the kind of comments the original BBC article had in mind.
    That is true, the discussion has progressed . I think the consensus is foul language ‘abuse ‘ is not acceptable . I took it further and said I do t believe Verbally abusing any referee at any age is unacceptable and this was challenged . To deduce my point , the crux of it is ‘ what is deemed abuse ‘ Maybe subjective . I believe that you should be able to scrutinise bad play/ decisions and of course compliment good play / decisions As and when that happens . A referee should be respected at all times irrespective of age however they should be aware that the game Is such the fans like to make there views known and when scrutinising a referee a judgement should be made Based on age in how that Is done . I do however believe refs should be challenged even if those refs are under 18 . That’s is my view . There is of course a line , a moral line and that is a zero tolerance to aggression Behaviour , language and persecution . That I’m sure we all agree . My stance is that I also uphold these values to professional referees and again this premise has been challenged . People clearly think it’s ok to abuse pro referees and have their reasons of which I find laughable but evidently 10000 people every week Would agree with them . If you find your self calling the ref a W£&!er just ask yourself how is this really acceptable and think about all the kids who are in the stand listening to it . It may well be you who should go on a safeguarding course or a how not to be a hypocrite. What is laughable is we have a respect campaign reminder at the beginning of every game Everyone claps and agrees and for 80 mins after the whistle to start the game the majority forget the respect campaign and abuse fans players and the officials ... I’ll leave it their .

  25. #25
    Got A Replica Shirt
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    95
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    That is true, the discussion has progressed . I think the consensus is foul language ‘abuse ‘ is not acceptable . I took it further and said I do t believe Verbally abusing any referee at any age is unacceptable and this was challenged . To deduce my point , the crux of it is ‘ what is deemed abuse ‘ Maybe subjective . I believe that you should be able to scrutinise bad play/ decisions and of course compliment good play / decisions As and when that happens . A referee should be respected at all times irrespective of age however they should be aware that the game Is such the fans like to make there views known and when scrutinising a referee a judgement should be made Based on age in how that Is done . I do however believe refs should be challenged even if those refs are under 18 . That’s is my view . There is of course a line , a moral line and that is a zero tolerance to aggression Behaviour , language and persecution . That I’m sure we all agree . My stance is that I also uphold these values to professional referees and again this premise has been challenged . People clearly think it’s ok to abuse pro referees and have their reasons of which I find laughable but evidently 10000 people every week Would agree with them . If you find your self calling the ref a W£&!er just ask yourself how is this really acceptable and think about all the kids who are in the stand listening to it . It may well be you who should go on a safeguarding course or a how not to be a hypocrite. What is laughable is we have a respect campaign reminder at the beginning of every game Everyone claps and agrees and for 80 mins after the whistle to start the game the majority forget the respect campaign and abuse fans players and the officials ... I’ll leave it their .
    I think some of that was aimed at me, but you have quoted someone else?

    I've been on plenty safeguarding courses thanks. I also don't need to go on a how not to be a hypocrite course either because I don't abuse referees.

    I'll just reaffirm that abuse at any level is unacceptable, especially towards minors and leave it there.
    Last edited by BackrowSaint; 3rd October 2021 at 16:47.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •