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Thread: The Men’s Room

  1. #101
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    Hi All,

    Today marks world mental health day. Thankfully the stigma is being removed and the stiff upper lip fallacy is drifting towards oblivion.

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    Mental Health/Suicide Prevention Helplines and Websites​. I thought this may help one of us going forwards, hopefully its a post that will never be needed.

    Samaritans: 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) - 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Get in touch about anything that’s troubling you, no matter how large or small the issue feels. Will listen and help you work through what’s on your mind. No judgement, no pressure.

    Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 (www.mind.org.uk) - Provide confidential help, advice, and information on mental health issues for the price of a local call.

    Childline: 0800 1111 (www.childline.org.uk) - Childline is free, confidential, and available any time day or night. Help and advice available for young people about a wide range of issues (self-harming, sex, bullying, etc.) Talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email, or post on the message boards.

    Papyrus: 0800 068 41 41 (www.papyrus-uk.org) - If you are a young person, or know a young person, who is not coping with life and may be contemplating suicide, please call for confidential support and suicide prevention advice.
    Available: Mon-Fri 9:00 am to 10:00 pm Weekends 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm Bank Holidays 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm

    Calm: 0800 58 58 58 (www.thecalmzone.net) – Available 5 pm to Midnight the helpline is for people in the UK who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, and need to talk or find information and support.

    Young Minds: 0808 802 5544 (Need urgent help? text YM to 85258)(www.youngminds.org.uk) - Whether you want to know more about how you’re feeling, get information about a mental health condition, or find out what support is available to you.

    The Mix: 0808 808 4994 (www.themix.org.uk) - Free information and support for under 25s in the UK. Get help and advice on a range of issues: mental health, drugs, homelessness, sex, relationships, money, jobs, etc.

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyprus View Post
    Mental Health/Suicide Prevention Helplines and Websites​. I thought this may help one of us going forwards, hopefully its a post that will never be needed.

    Samaritans: 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) - 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Get in touch about anything that’s troubling you, no matter how large or small the issue feels. Will listen and help you work through what’s on your mind. No judgement, no pressure.

    Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 (www.mind.org.uk) - Provide confidential help, advice, and information on mental health issues for the price of a local call.

    Childline: 0800 1111 (www.childline.org.uk) - Childline is free, confidential, and available any time day or night. Help and advice available for young people about a wide range of issues (self-harming, sex, bullying, etc.) Talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email, or post on the message boards.

    Papyrus: 0800 068 41 41 (www.papyrus-uk.org) - If you are a young person, or know a young person, who is not coping with life and may be contemplating suicide, please call for confidential support and suicide prevention advice.
    Available: Mon-Fri 9:00 am to 10:00 pm Weekends 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm Bank Holidays 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm

    Calm: 0800 58 58 58 (www.thecalmzone.net) – Available 5 pm to Midnight the helpline is for people in the UK who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, and need to talk or find information and support.

    Young Minds: 0808 802 5544 (Need urgent help? text YM to 85258)(www.youngminds.org.uk) - Whether you want to know more about how you’re feeling, get information about a mental health condition, or find out what support is available to you.

    The Mix: 0808 808 4994 (www.themix.org.uk) - Free information and support for under 25s in the UK. Get help and advice on a range of issues: mental health, drugs, homelessness, sex, relationships, money, jobs, etc.
    Hi Cyprus "calm" is something I have dealt with , this is a really helpful post , can I copy this and use it in a different app where I am certain it will be of real help . Thanks for the post , I try to put my condition in a box and put it in a different place and really try my best to live a normal life as best I can , BUT sometimes things do come to mind , where it lies with myself is not the fear of "that's it" , it's the pain I leave behind with the family and that hurts . Anyway I hope the insight PM I sent will be an uplift for later , I was told to say silent which mmm I have , enjoy the game later , its something I am confident we will enjoy at about 10 to 8 lol, enjoy the game I will record and watch later .
    roy litherland it's happened i told you it would

  4. #104
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    The more coverage the better. The family side of things no one size fits all. On reflection post operation I was bloody awful. No book just keep thinking all the good things in life and try and not get caught up in the regrets. Lets up we are drinking Mixed and not Mild after the game. Four-pence a pint more but smile please were in Greenall Whitley land and Champions.

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyprus View Post
    The more coverage the better. The family side of things no one size fits all. On reflection post operation I was bloody awful. No book just keep thinking all the good things in life and try and not get caught up in the regrets. Lets up we are drinking Mixed and not Mild after the game. Four-pence a pint more but smile please were in Greenall Whitley land and Champions.
    Cheers bud , post much appreciated.
    roy litherland it's happened i told you it would

  6. #106
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    Roy I realise you must be in a lot of pain I am nursing my wife who is terminal with lung cancer it's also in her liver there is no point giving her chemo we are told as the cancers are to big she also has no short term memory due to a stroke six years ago ,two years ago we were told she may last two years the only difference from now till then is her mobility she can not walk with out her Zimmer I wish you well and hope you can beat it no matter what you are told try and get an appointment with willowbrook they are fantastick

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by robo View Post
    Roy I realise you must be in a lot of pain I am nursing my wife who is terminal with lung cancer it's also in her liver there is no point giving her chemo we are told as the cancers are to big she also has no short term memory due to a stroke six years ago ,two years ago we were told she may last two years the only difference from now till then is her mobility she can not walk with out her Zimmer I wish you well and hope you can beat it no matter what you are told try and get an appointment with willowbrook they are fantastick
    Truly sorry to hear this Robo. I'm sure you are doing the very best you can & I'm thinking of you both.

  8. #108
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    All the best Roy, hope the lads cheered you up last weekend. My thoughts are with anyone going through a battle with cancer as a patient or a carer of a loved one. It's nice that the comments and concern on here shared between us all are genuinely heartfelt... Again all the best to all
    Last edited by Paul Newlove; 17th October 2019 at 18:43.

  9. #109
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    To anyone who is suffering with that horrible (or indeed any other) disease you have my heartfelt sympathy. Earlier this week I was at my friends wifes funeral, I have posted about the tragic circumstances of her death previously. When we got home my wife got a phone call to say that two her cousins have been diagnosed with cancer. Hits home hard especially after losing my dad, father-in-law, mother-in law and brother-in-law along with many friends to that horrible disease.
    Someday I really believe that we will find a cure and hopefully sooner rather than later.

    Stay strong

    Brian

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    An old friend sadly committed suicide last week due to mental and personal issues. Can i just say , please talk To someone if you are struggling. Whatever it is tell somebody. However hard it might be , it can be overcome with help .

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    As said I am just having a bit of a rest from posting, however needed to send my condolences for a really nice bloke in his passing away . Sean was a really good bloke and I can promise there wont be one negative word said about this lad . REST IN PEACE SEAN , good night God bless.
    roy litherland it's happened i told you it would

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    Quote Originally Posted by roy litherland View Post
    As said I am just having a bit of a rest from posting, however needed to send my condolences for a really nice bloke in his passing away . Sean was a really good bloke and I can promise there wont be one negative word said about this lad . REST IN PEACE SEAN , good night God bless.
    Here, here. Hope you're keeping well Roy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Here, here. Hope you're keeping well Roy.
    Thanks Dave and each and everyone of all the other posters , good days , bad days , what's expected , again thanks .
    roy litherland it's happened i told you it would

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    https://www.saintsrlfc.com/2019/12/1...fload-in-2020/

    Some good news from the Foundation for 2020.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter View Post
    https://www.saintsrlfc.com/2019/12/1...fload-in-2020/

    Some good news from the Foundation for 2020.
    Great initiative - thanks for sharing Walter

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    If anyone reads the thread over the next few days please remember you are never on your own and help is out there. a list of organisations is further up the thread all the very best and remember share it and help to solve it.

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    https://twitter.com/MikeWeb58/status...779337729?s=19

    A chance to hear about Offload coming to St Helens in March and other mental fitness projects that the Foundation supports.

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    As promised here is a link to Offload which starts on 4 March.

    https://twitter.com/CH_Chamberlain1/...310372865?s=19

    The Foundation have funding currently for 4 10 week programmes so if you can't make the first one don't worry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Side Of The Moon View Post
    An old friend sadly committed suicide last week due to mental and personal issues. Can i just say , please talk To someone if you are struggling. Whatever it is tell somebody. However hard it might be , it can be overcome with help .
    What if there's no one to talk to?

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    You make a very good point Dave. Sadly men especially find it hard to open up and talk about feelings of failure and anxiety. The way we are programmed means we should be up for the challenge and provide for our families. Since my introduction into my working life in 1979 the role of men and indeed jobs for men have changed fundamentally and many have found the change and introduction of social media such a challenge, in the eighties we all seemed to struggle and get by together however that collectiveness has gone for many.

    Coming forward is the hard part because the help is slowly coming in place. I have worked with CALM in the past and the Samaritans who have improved in recent years and other really good organisations. It is just trying to link people with help and then realising you are not a failure just human. We have posted contact places on this page and if just one person rings one of the numbers it is worthwhile. Thank you for the challenge Dave that is a part of what we all need to help each other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyprus View Post
    You make a very good point Dave. Sadly men especially find it hard to open up and talk about feelings of failure and anxiety. The way we are programmed means we should be up for the challenge and provide for our families. Since my introduction into my working life in 1979 the role of men and indeed jobs for men have changed fundamentally and many have found the change and introduction of social media such a challenge, in the eighties we all seemed to struggle and get by together however that collectiveness has gone for many.

    Coming forward is the hard part because the help is slowly coming in place. I have worked with CALM in the past and the Samaritans who have improved in recent years and other really good organisations. It is just trying to link people with help and then realising you are not a failure just human. We have posted contact places on this page and if just one person rings one of the numbers it is worthwhile. Thank you for the challenge Dave that is a part of what we all need to help each other.
    I've tried to be open about my struggles for a good while now and as I mentioned last summer I had to take a step back for my own sanity but I'm sat in Southampton now thinking to myself about things. I've been stuck in a crap hotel for 2 weeks, my missus is quite ill at the moment, I'm not getting to the gym, I'm working with a bunch of morons and the money isn't great and it's making me think "what's the ••••ing point?" Well, as you said to provide for my family is number 1 but other than that there isn't a great deal and I'm bloody miserable at the moment. Maybe it's just a phase as I've been much more like myself of late but it's getting on my nerves and quite honestly I could have happily filled someone in last night because he was a bit ••••ed and mouthy.

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    At the moment Dave you are struggling on two fronts, things are tough in the important place at home with your Wife being poorly and then to compound it work is a struggle and you are hundreds of miles away. I do have experience of Hotel living and I know its easy to say but if you can break that circle somehow and get at least closer to home it helps. If it all feels crappy in Birmingham you can jump in the car and spend at least a night at home to break the cycle. Plymouth was my worst time and I was on great money but it wasn't worth it, it was just too far away. Keep your head up Dave it will get better and don't forget the GP can sometimes help. I am not ashamed to have been on medication for a number of years now, does it make Dianne Abbot look like Whitney Houston no it doesn't but it balances the high and the low points in life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    I've tried to be open about my struggles for a good while now and as I mentioned last summer I had to take a step back for my own sanity but I'm sat in Southampton now thinking to myself about things. I've been stuck in a crap hotel for 2 weeks, my missus is quite ill at the moment, I'm not getting to the gym, I'm working with a bunch of morons and the money isn't great and it's making me think "what's the ••••ing point?" Well, as you said to provide for my family is number 1 but other than that there isn't a great deal and I'm bloody miserable at the moment. Maybe it's just a phase as I've been much more like myself of late but it's getting on my nerves and quite honestly I could have happily filled someone in last night because he was a bit ••••ed and mouthy.
    If it's possible, take pleasure in small things. When I was ill (clinical depression, though of a relatively 'mild' nature), what helped was friends and workmates being kind, watching decent sport in the pub with a pint without having to make an effort with anybody, and trying to live in the moment rather than fret about a lot of things I couldn't do anything about.

    If you're stuck away from home, (and of course if you've made it back home) there's the Roosters game on Saturday night to look forward to, and maybe some Prem football.

    I look out for your posts. They're often spot on, nicely acerbic, and have a quick wit about them. Maybe posting stuff gives you some pleasure. It's a kind of therapy. I'm really glad you're a Saints fan - if you were one of the others I'd be quaking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyprus View Post
    At the moment Dave you are struggling on two fronts, things are tough in the important place at home with your Wife being poorly and then to compound it work is a struggle and you are hundreds of miles away. I do have experience of Hotel living and I know its easy to say but if you can break that circle somehow and get at least closer to home it helps. If it all feels crappy in Birmingham you can jump in the car and spend at least a night at home to break the cycle. Plymouth was my worst time and I was on great money but it wasn't worth it, it was just too far away. Keep your head up Dave it will get better and don't forget the GP can sometimes help. I am not ashamed to have been on medication for a number of years now, does it make Dianne Abbot look like Whitney Houston no it doesn't but it balances the high and the low points in life.
    Without sounding ungrateful for your advise, I know what's wrong, I'm just struggling to come up with any solutions. I'm not stupid, I'm skilled and I'm well thought of in my industry but it just feels like everything is going to shit at the moment. It doesn't bother me being away, I've done it for a long time although the hotel is crap so doesn't help. As much as anything, I've tried to do right by someone who was a bit down on his luck and he's embarrassed me.

    I was in the airport earlier when I made my original post so I'm back home but she's bad so our plans for the weekend are ••••ed and I'm back out of the house at 7 on Sunday morning. Living the dream this weekend.

    Quote Originally Posted by Canterbredve View Post
    If it's possible, take pleasure in small things. When I was ill (clinical depression, though of a relatively 'mild' nature), what helped was friends and workmates being kind, watching decent sport in the pub with a pint without having to make an effort with anybody, and trying to live in the moment rather than fret about a lot of things I couldn't do anything about.

    If you're stuck away from home, (and of course if you've made it back home) there's the Roosters game on Saturday night to look forward to, and maybe some Prem football.

    I look out for your posts. They're often spot on, nicely acerbic, and have a quick wit about them. Maybe posting stuff gives you some pleasure. It's a kind of therapy. I'm really glad you're a Saints fan - if you were one of the others I'd be quaking.
    The small things that make me happy are hard to achieve at the moment, walking my dog, fishing, a pint with my mates, even my missus just being happy. Thanks for your compliments, I know my enforced user name and I used to revel in it to be fair but I'm not a bad bloke. I'll be honest I can't stand most of the people I work with, I feel they're below me from top to bottom and maybe that's my problem but it's no coincidence the last 5 companies I've worked for are super majors but now I'm stuck in shit market having to answer to people who don't know their arse from their elbow, are clearly threatened by me and would do very well to keep their respective mouths shut but hey ho, I've got things in place to improve things workwise. I doubt the football will make me happy as we have Arsenal away on Sunday but I'm hoping Mikel Arteta will show his old team some sympathy. If you ever want to chat, you only need to drop me a message.

  25. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Without sounding ungrateful for your advise, I know what's wrong, I'm just struggling to come up with any solutions. I'm not stupid, I'm skilled and I'm well thought of in my industry but it just feels like everything is going to shit at the moment. It doesn't bother me being away, I've done it for a long time although the hotel is crap so doesn't help. As much as anything, I've tried to do right by someone who was a bit down on his luck and he's embarrassed me.

    I was in the airport earlier when I made my original post so I'm back home but she's bad so our plans for the weekend are ••••ed and I'm back out of the house at 7 on Sunday morning. Living the dream this weekend.



    The small things that make me happy are hard to achieve at the moment, walking my dog, fishing, a pint with my mates, even my missus just being happy. Thanks for your compliments, I know my enforced user name and I used to revel in it to be fair but I'm not a bad bloke. I'll be honest I can't stand most of the people I work with, I feel they're below me from top to bottom and maybe that's my problem but it's no coincidence the last 5 companies I've worked for are super majors but now I'm stuck in shit market having to answer to people who don't know their arse from their elbow, are clearly threatened by me and would do very well to keep their respective mouths shut but hey ho, I've got things in place to improve things workwise. I doubt the football will make me happy as we have Arsenal away on Sunday but I'm hoping Mikel Arteta will show his old team some sympathy. If you ever want to chat, you only need to drop me a message.
    Alright Dave. Is it your job on top of other stuff or is it your job the main source of concern, then everything else?

    Sorry to hear about your partner by the way. I do hope she gets better

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