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Thread: The Men’s Room

  1. #126
    In The South Stand KentishBarry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    I've tried to be open about my struggles for a good while now and as I mentioned last summer I had to take a step back for my own sanity but I'm sat in Southampton now thinking to myself about things. I've been stuck in a crap hotel for 2 weeks, my missus is quite ill at the moment, I'm not getting to the gym, I'm working with a bunch of morons and the money isn't great and it's making me think "what's the ••••ing point?" Well, as you said to provide for my family is number 1 but other than that there isn't a great deal and I'm bloody miserable at the moment. Maybe it's just a phase as I've been much more like myself of late but it's getting on my nerves and quite honestly I could have happily filled someone in last night because he was a bit ••••ed and mouthy.
    Sorry if this is a daft suggestion, but have you thought of signing up to one of those 'pay as you go' gym networks such as 'Puregym' or 'Easygym' for when you're away? Get those endorphins flowing. If you don't have your kit with you, pick up a cheap set at a local discount shop wherever you're staying. It will take you out of the 'crappy hotel with morons' environment that you mention, and perhaps take your mind off other things.
    There's also that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing (SAD) which, I think can affect more people than we realise. Obviously, I've no idea what you do for a living, but if you are stuck indoors for most of the week, a little outside daylight might help.
    Whatever it is, I wish you well sorting it!

  2. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Fridge View Post
    Alright Dave. Is it your job on top of other stuff or is it your job the main source of concern, then everything else?

    Sorry to hear about your partner by the way. I do hope she gets better
    My job on top of a whole host of other stuff, especially the missus and this IR35 stuff going on at the moment which is going to cause me loads of problems. You try and work hard and get ahead in life only to get rogered every which way then they wonder why they can't get folk off the dole.

  3. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by KentishBarry View Post
    Sorry if this is a daft suggestion, but have you thought of signing up to one of those 'pay as you go' gym networks such as 'Puregym' or 'Easygym' for when you're away? Get those endorphins flowing. If you don't have your kit with you, pick up a cheap set at a local discount shop wherever you're staying. It will take you out of the 'crappy hotel with morons' environment that you mention, and perhaps take your mind off other things.
    There's also that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing (SAD) which, I think can affect more people than we realise. Obviously, I've no idea what you do for a living, but if you are stuck indoors for most of the week, a little outside daylight might help.
    Whatever it is, I wish you well sorting it!
    There's a gym about 200 yards from my hotel but I'm out of the hotel for 12 hours before I've eaten, had a shower or called home so I'm absolutely knackered. I'm usually 50/50 between office and site though was inside a lot more last week due to the weather.

  4. #129
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    Your only about an hour and a quarter from us. If you’re bored you’re welcome to stay over anytime for a drink... as long as you dont get too angry ;-)

  5. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by eddiewaringsflatcap View Post
    Your only about an hour and a quarter from us. If you’re bored you’re welcome to stay over anytime for a drink... as long as you dont get too angry ;-)
    That's very much appreciated. I'm back home this weekend and to be honest I've not decided if I'm going back, the crappy wage just isn't worth the hassle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    That's very much appreciated. I'm back home this weekend and to be honest I've not decided if I'm going back, the crappy wage just isn't worth the hassle.
    No probs mate, my wife is working overseas at the mo and Im on my own in the middle of the countryside. Its a massive thing to your overall mental state for some people, namely me and by the sounds of it yourself. The offer stands if you want it.

    As an aside would also sya i found this good: 16personalities.com. Just a series of questions which shows how we are all different in life. Lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eddiewaringsflatcap View Post
    No probs mate, my wife is working overseas at the mo and Im on my own in the middle of the countryside. Its a massive thing to your overall mental state for some people, namely me and by the sounds of it yourself. The offer stands if you want it.

    As an aside would also sya i found this good: 16personalities.com. Just a series of questions which shows how we are all different in life. Lol.
    Again, I very much appreciate your offer but I've made a couple of calls over the weekend and have found work elsewhere so I only need to go back and pick up the last of my things. If you want to chat then PM me, I only know from the other side about being away from my family but I do get it. All the best.

  8. #133
    In The West Stand Ralph Fridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    My job on top of a whole host of other stuff, especially the missus and this IR35 stuff going on at the moment which is going to cause me loads of problems. You try and work hard and get ahead in life only to get rogered every which way then they wonder why they can't get folk off the dole.
    I understand. I've been away so sorry for the late reply. You've got something new in terms of work. To me this shows that although you might be struggling a bit, you have the determination and focus to make changes.

    You should be proud of yourself because you've done really well there

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Fridge View Post
    I understand. I've been away so sorry for the late reply. You've got something new in terms of work. To me this shows that although you might be struggling a bit, you have the determination and focus to make changes.

    You should be proud of yourself because you've done really well there
    Cheers mate and no need to apologise whatsoever. As it goes I've not gone back away and that seems to be the right decision according to one of my colleagues who tells me the project has gone to rat shit.

  10. #135
    In The West Stand Ralph Fridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Cheers mate and no need to apologise whatsoever. As it goes I've not gone back away and that seems to be the right decision according to one of my colleagues who tells me the project has gone to rat shit.
    There you go then. You've made the right decision.

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    Ok, anyway, I realise I've been a bit of a gobshite on here the past couple of days. It's been a really rough week, the missus has decided to leave me, totally out of the blue, I've had people telling lies about me and speaking behind my back. So sorry if I've offended anyone, that's not an excuse, I just wanted to put it out there.

  12. #137
    In The North Stand With All The Old Folk Belgian Saint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Ok, anyway, I realise I've been a bit of a gobshite on here the past couple of days. It's been a really rough week, the missus has decided to leave me, totally out of the blue, I've had people telling lies about me and speaking behind my back. So sorry if I've offended anyone, that's not an excuse, I just wanted to put it out there.
    Really sorry to hear that mate. It can be pretty hard on a family when the man is working away all the time. My wife was for years stuck with 3 kids in countries where she had no family and didn't speak the language. It was only later I realise how hard that was on family life. Good luck anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Belgian Saint View Post
    Really sorry to hear that mate. It can be pretty hard on a family when the man is working away all the time. My wife was for years stuck with 3 kids in countries where she had no family and didn't speak the language. It was only later I realise how hard that was on family life. Good luck anyway.
    Cheers mate, I do actually think it was harder for her than she let on, she's had illness to contend with over the past few months too and it obviously got too much. I'm not happy about it but there's nothing I can do about it other than try to support her and get on with my life.

  14. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Cheers mate, I do actually think it was harder for her than she let on, she's had illness to contend with over the past few months too and it obviously got too much. I'm not happy about it but there's nothing I can do about it other than try to support her and get on with my life.
    Only just seen this today. Just want to wish you well Dave. Hope life is picking up. If not hang in there, everything changes

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pasty View Post
    Only just seen this today. Just want to wish you well Dave. Hope life is picking up. If not hang in there, everything changes
    You know what, now it's died down a bit I'm feeling better about things and there's much more important things in life at the moment. I try and look for positives in things and if all this has taught me anything it's that nothing is sure bet. Who would've thought when I was moaning about being in Southampton we'd all be in the position we are now.

  16. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    You know what, now it's died down a bit I'm feeling better about things and there's much more important things in life at the moment. I try and look for positives in things and if all this has taught me anything it's that nothing is sure bet. Who would've thought when I was moaning about being in Southampton we'd all be in the position we are now.
    Well said Dave

  17. #142
    Learning All The Songs roy litherland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    You know what, now it's died down a bit I'm feeling better about things and there's much more important things in life at the moment. I try and look for positives in things and if all this has taught me anything it's that nothing is sure bet. Who would've thought when I was moaning about being in Southampton we'd all be in the position we are now.
    Good post so familiar.
    roy litherland it's happened i told you it would

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    Starting A Programme Collection Saintsaregods's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Dave View Post
    Ok, anyway, I realise I've been a bit of a gobshite on here the past couple of days. It's been a really rough week, the missus has decided to leave me, totally out of the blue, I've had people telling lies about me and speaking behind my back. So sorry if I've offended anyone, that's not an excuse, I just wanted to put it out there.
    Not been on here for a while but just read Dave’s post and wanted to share something similar. I recently found out that my partner of 12 years has been seeing her ex behind my back. For the last 12 years I’ve been helping to raise her 3 kids (the ex walked out on them when they were babies). I’ve seen them through primary, secondary school and now college. I’ve sacrificed friendships, interests and work opportunities to be there for them.

    I couldn’t care less for her but the thing that’s killing me is the kids have stopped getting in touch, whether that’s a misguided sense of loyalty or feeling awkward, I don’t know. So, I’m living alone in a flat with no friends and my only family live abroad, I don’t sleep properly, I don’t eat properly and I’m working from home due to covid. I spend my evening Drinking heavily and know this isn’t the answer.

    In a strange way Dave’s post has made me feel less alone and more determined to get through this. Sorry for the whinge but it’s been bottled up inside.

    Stay safe and stay well.
    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saintsaregods View Post
    Not been on here for a while but just read Dave’s post and wanted to share something similar. I recently found out that my partner of 12 years has been seeing her ex behind my back. For the last 12 years I’ve been helping to raise her 3 kids (the ex walked out on them when they were babies). I’ve seen them through primary, secondary school and now college. I’ve sacrificed friendships, interests and work opportunities to be there for them.

    I couldn’t care less for her but the thing that’s killing me is the kids have stopped getting in touch, whether that’s a misguided sense of loyalty or feeling awkward, I don’t know. So, I’m living alone in a flat with no friends and my only family live abroad, I don’t sleep properly, I don’t eat properly and I’m working from home due to covid. I spend my evening Drinking heavily and know this isn’t the answer.

    In a strange way Dave’s post has made me feel less alone and more determined to get through this. Sorry for the whinge but it’s been bottled up inside.

    Stay safe and stay well.
    Firstly, don't apologise or even think about apologising. That's truly horrible and I know exactly what you mean regarding the kids. I'm in the same boat, I've been away with work for 3 weeks and I can't even see the dog because she's moved in with her mother and she's worried about it being transmitted via him.

    I won't patronise you and tell you drink isn't the answer as you said as much yourself. I got ••••ed on Wednesday night myself in Amsterdam and ended up giving her a mouthful so I can't talk in any case.

  20. #145
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    Cheers Dave, hope it works out for both of us, would like to be ••••ed in Amsterdam right now.
    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saintsaregods View Post
    Cheers Dave, hope it works out for both of us, would like to be ••••ed in Amsterdam right now.
    I was in a hotel at the airport and really wasn't much fun. It certainly wasn't cold Heinekens on Prinsengracht in summer admiring the Dutch skirt.

  22. #147
    In The West Stand Ralph Fridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saintsaregods View Post
    Not been on here for a while but just read Dave’s post and wanted to share something similar. I recently found out that my partner of 12 years has been seeing her ex behind my back. For the last 12 years I’ve been helping to raise her 3 kids (the ex walked out on them when they were babies). I’ve seen them through primary, secondary school and now college. I’ve sacrificed friendships, interests and work opportunities to be there for them.

    I couldn’t care less for her but the thing that’s killing me is the kids have stopped getting in touch, whether that’s a misguided sense of loyalty or feeling awkward, I don’t know. So, I’m living alone in a flat with no friends and my only family live abroad, I don’t sleep properly, I don’t eat properly and I’m working from home due to covid. I spend my evening Drinking heavily and know this isn’t the answer.

    In a strange way Dave’s post has made me feel less alone and more determined to get through this. Sorry for the whinge but it’s been bottled up inside.

    Stay safe and stay well.
    Hello mate.

    That really is horrible. Similar happened to me but I hadn't been seeing the lass that long but I did really like her & I was gutted when I found out. I do have some understanding of what you are going through, but it is so much harder for you given your scenario.

    I'm not going to give you down the banks on the alcohol because when I like a good session myself. All I can advise is cut down as it will help in the long run. If nothing else, it will allow you to think more clearly.

    This is what I'd do and you've got some structure already as you are working from home. This is good. So split your day into 3 x 8 hours ish

    8 hours work
    8 hours for yourself
    8 hours sleep.

    Eat 3 good meals a day at approx same time.

    Rather than drink for drinking sake, get yourself a bottle of something or other that you can savour (I like a good red wine for example) to treat yourself once you've established your routine and are sticking to it.

    I'd start there & keep in touch on here. I'll always reply when I log in if it's a pm or post

  23. #148
    In The South Stand Jackbit's Avatar
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    https://stateofmindsport.org/

    Just in case anyone wants to reach out, there's a hand for you here.

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    Starting A Programme Collection Saintsaregods's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Fridge View Post
    Hello mate.

    That really is horrible. Similar happened to me but I hadn't been seeing the lass that long but I did really like her & I was gutted when I found out. I do have some understanding of what you are going through, but it is so much harder for you given your scenario.

    I'm not going to give you down the banks on the alcohol because when I like a good session myself. All I can advise is cut down as it will help in the long run. If nothing else, it will allow you to think more clearly.

    This is what I'd do and you've got some structure already as you are working from home. This is good. So split your day into 3 x 8 hours ish

    8 hours work
    8 hours for yourself
    8 hours sleep.

    Eat 3 good meals a day at approx same time.

    Rather than drink for drinking sake, get yourself a bottle of something or other that you can savour (I like a good red wine for example) to treat yourself once you've established your routine and are sticking to it.

    I'd start there & keep in touch on here. I'll always reply when I log in if it's a pm or post
    Thanks Ralph, another poster PM’d me which was greatly appreciated and I’ve cut back on the booze, aiming to only drink at the weekends and so far managing. The kids have been in touch and that has helped to improve my well being.

    I’m working from home and have applied a structure to the day and I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself and started looking forward including setting some goals. I live for the outdoors and go wild camping at least once every season (spring, summer, autumn, winter) so I’ve decided as soon as the restrictions are lifted , I’ll be heading for Argyll and Bute for some much needed R and R.

    I think that once I get over the “bent and twisted” phase, things will be ok.

    Thanks for the support, it’s much appreciated.
    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

  25. #150
    In The West Stand Ralph Fridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saintsaregods View Post
    Thanks Ralph, another poster PM’d me which was greatly appreciated and I’ve cut back on the booze, aiming to only drink at the weekends and so far managing. The kids have been in touch and that has helped to improve my well being.

    I’m working from home and have applied a structure to the day and I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself and started looking forward including setting some goals. I live for the outdoors and go wild camping at least once every season (spring, summer, autumn, winter) so I’ve decided as soon as the restrictions are lifted , I’ll be heading for Argyll and Bute for some much needed R and R.

    I think that once I get over the “bent and twisted” phase, things will be ok.

    Thanks for the support, it’s much appreciated.
    No problem at all sir. Glad the kids have been in touch & you're certainly taking positive steps. Keep up the good work

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